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i wander hudson’s booksellers airport store in search of something to speak to me about grief and friendship. words to tell me, describe to me, enlighten me about the situation i am in. but my situation feels unwritten. maybe i am looking for something too blatantly obvious. something that screams with conspicuous clarity. something called, “the grief and friendship project” or “delivering friendship” or “how to act when your friend’s son dies”. instead, the store is all a-rage with happiness titles…”the happiness project” and “delivering happiness” are best sellers. where are the books about navigating melancholy? the opportunities of a melancholy day? there is seemingly no interest in happiness’ yin. what a shame. there is nothing wrong with melancholy. ┬áit’s okay to be sad…


i am sitting here and the day is beautiful. a day that beckons happiness. the green leaves whisper. gesture. come on, come on. it’s possible i think to still love the day. it’s possible to feel sadness and still love the day.

there are good days, and there are bad days. on the bad days, you’ve just got to believe it will get better. and on the good days, you’ve just got to be present and understand what a treasure you have.

monarch butterflies move. they are movement, not lingerers. it takes four generations to complete each annual cycle, so they are all about moving on. it is the duty of each generation to advance north, make it to nova scotia (for the eastern group). this is why they don’t dally in cemeteries when they are released at scheduled events.

i feel profoundly moved. transformed. maybe that is what could be magical about this year. transformation. learning compassion. having a teacher. being open.

there isn’t one.

don’t let anyone talk you out of your grief. there will be those who urge you to move on…but you cannot be persuaded to abandon something that you have become. you are waiting, and they must wait with you. after all the attempts to comfort, the suggestions shared out of love and helplessness, each mourner says her own goodbyes, feels her own feelings, and moves uneasily and unevenly toward healing. in the end, each struggling spirit, alone in the company of a few dear friends, somehow finds a way.

521 for 23 wishes project

kindness ripples...

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